Wednesday, January 21, 2009
Into the Wild
What does all this world mean..
When you feel yourself like a little little human in concrete box placed on ..th floor of bigger gray concrete box enclosed by many other concrete boxes in big big city which is one of the others..on this big big planet..
He was 23... I don't know, so much emotions.
It's difficult to be silent as well as difficult to say smth.
"Happiness is real only when it's shared".
Don't know whether I want somebody to be with me right now at this moment.
Difficult not to think about own life.
I'm 21.. who am I?
For the first glance I have all I want.
From the other side I totally lost and not rarely want to find sense of life or.. want nothing.
All these education, job and so on.. If only I had self-respect I wouldn't allow my brains to forgot so much things which I could do before and which I loved. Math, music.. all was not for the hell of it.
The part of these people about which I'm exited. At the same time they most probably even remember about me just when I start conversation first. Why all of this happens?
"...When you forgive.. you love, and when you love, God's light shines on you..."
Love? Does it exist?
For me probably not.
Even if one day all will start cool and with reciprocity, I'm afraid that I won't believe in that and crash it from the beginning.
Why Can't I find my Own way?
Why am I now sitting here and writing all this shit when somebody does Real stuff in The Real life.
I want to disappear from the Web...more over I need it..
Lost.. totally lost
And no tears, which is strange for this sort of movies and this sort of thoughts.
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3 comments:
Dear, do not panic :)
You've read how I felt after watching this movie? Let me tell you I felt much worse after reading the book, so you're well off there :)
Now seriously, there's plenty of time to find yourself. I'm four years older than you are and I can echo all your fears about being lost. Just do not let yourself BE or GET lost, everything needs time and eventually we will all know what we're here for :)
PS do not go watching the movie over and over again or you'll fall for the main actor, he is gorgeous :)
PPS Chris was a genious!!
thanks Natt :)
maybe, now I feel better, but right after movie was so sad..
ps. yes =) and I'm also afraid to get into deep depression if I will see this movie over and over)
pps. absolutely agree! =)
I haven't seen the movie, but the lack of direction, the feeling that we are ruining our own chances at the very beginning of something (for example, relationships)- I think this is common to a lot of us. I guess we might be making mistakes, but maybe its better to make a mistake than to not do anything at all...
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